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Archive for March 22, 2010

Return From Hiatus

The Scene: A 2003 Nissan Altima. Mid afternoon. The weather is nice and spring is in the air. A pasty white male, mid 20’s, who appears to have not gotten any sunlight since late August, is driving. We hear an instrumental version of “Yeah” by Usher being played on the car’s soundsystem.

Pasty white male: “Ugh, yeah, yo, yo, yo, just gonna drop a little freestyle from the tip of the dome here, ugh, yeah! Take that and rewind it back, YCL got the blog to make your booty go *CLAP* Take that and rewind it back, Jur-stin had a party made my liver go *CLAP*.” End scene.

Wow, sorry, I will never do that again. Unless somebody wants me to. No? Wait, I thought I saw a hand go up in the ba-, no nevermind, false alarm.  But yes, Justin did in fact have a party. Nothing like hangin out with the old gradeschool buddies. The night was a raging success, even after getting of to a shaky start when I returned from the liquor store with a case of delicious Gluek Honey Bock. I was mocked and ridiculed by numerous people for my choice of libation. Jeez, I didn’t know I was going to be partying with Siskel and Ebert. But once samples were dispersed to the crowd, the true colors of this locally brewed hodgepodge of flavor were brought to the surface. Peanut gallery……………SILENCED!!!!

-Hot from the YCL Sports Desk: In local news, apparently Joe Mauer signed a contract. For like way too much money. Seriously, does anyone really need 180 million dollars? To play baseball? And before that he turned down 120 million dollars? Who on this planet could possibly have such an overexaggerated sense of self importance that 120 million dollars isn’t enough money for them? For 8 years of work. The average person in their lifetime will make about 1-2 million, if they are lucky. So to match what Joe Mauer would have made in 8 years, the average person would have to live 120 different lives. But that just wasn’t enough for Minnesota’s Golden Boy. But hey, I don’t really follow sports that closely so I could be wrong. Maybe catching and hitting a ball while wearing a cool little cap really is worth 23 million dollars a year.

-In other news, we have some very intriguing topics coming our way this week. On Wednesday we will be exploring strange band names, from the funny to the nonsensical. And we actually had a request for the Friday Fun Facts Edition this week, from Dustin S. of Bloomington, Minnesota. He wants to hear a compilation of George Bush quotes and actions that encapsulate the general suckiness of George Bush. While this may sound like beating a dead horse, I’m sure the horse won’t care, cause hey, it’s dead. And sometimes people like to watch stuff being beaten. And maybe some weird juices or intestines will pop out in the process of the beating. Stick around to find out!

Here’s a good blong. Alkaline Trio, “We’ve Had Enough”. It’s from a few years ago, but I still enjoy it.

Categories: Uncategorized
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