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Band Names

Hi! Today we are going to explore the wacky world of odd, funny, and just plain innappropriate band names. But before we dive headfirst into the veritable genius of these musical masterminds, I had some random thoughts that I wanted to share:

-I keep getting all this stuff from the census people. I’m going to fill it out, but it keeps telling me that my response is required by law. My question is, if I don’t actually do it, wouldn’t that mean that I technically don’t exist and therefore could not get into trouble? Hmmmm, sounds to me like a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, marinated in befuddlement and peppered with flummoxation.  Looks like I have the upper hand on this one. You know what I always say, in the valley of the skunks the man without a nose is king; well in the land of the census, a man without any legs is, apparently, still legally an entire man. Weird how that works out. But back to the pertinent matter, I luckily have a man on the inside, so John S. of Rochester, if you are reading this, could you possibly weigh in on this conundrum.

Alright, back to the main focus of today’s blizz-og. I was recently exploring interesting band names, and from the looks of it, every simple one has already been used up, for example Tool, Nirvana, Metallica, etc. People are being forced to use their imaginations now that all the one word names are taken, and boy are some of these people troubled. And I should issue a warning. Mom, if you are going to continue to read this I have to tell you that some of these bands use less than reputable language.

We’ll start off with these four gems:

-Admiral Poopy Pants and his Dancing Teeth

-Mr. Quintran and the Flossy Unicorn Puppet Show

-Beerbellied Scum from Central Bucks County. I’m willing to bet that they play nothing but country.

-Zoogz Rift and his Amazing Shit-Heads

I was going to try to categorize them, but why even try:

-Amish Meth Lab      -Bjorn Again    -Drew Barrymore’s Dealer     -Fuckface Unstoppable

-Bloated Scrotum     -Ska Skank Redemption      -Sexual Disaster Quartet

-Big White Undies.  This would be the greatest band ever if they actually wear big white undies while playing.

-The Christopher Walk-ins    -German Beef Initiative   -Polka Dot Dot Dot   -Shit Yeah Girl

-Superfun Yeah Yeah Rocketship    -John the Raptist. He’s a rapper if you didn’t get it.

-Baby Got Bacteria       -Girl Fart     -Butt Funnel     -Lesbian Dopeheads on Mopeds

I’m pretty sure these next few all have to be death metal bands.

-Afterbirth Sandwich     -Anus the Menace     -Menstrual Gravy    -Asshole Parade

-Penis Shit Pile     -Butt Jowl Picnic

There were literally so many bands beginning with the word “anal” that it would require a whole other posting, so we’ll just keep plugging away.

-Big Bird’s Turds     -Fuck Taco Bell    -Half Man, Half Biscuit

-If Pigs Could Talk Would You Still Eat Them    -Orange Juice After Toothpaste

-Poultry in Motion    -Rainbow Butt Monkeys      -Titty Bingo

Well that is about enough of that for now. Today’s blong (blog song) for the bloupies (blog groupies) is very fitting for today’s theme. Here are the Butthole Surfers, with “Pepper”. It’s got that 90’s slacker vibe that we’ve all come to know and love.

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  1. March 25, 2010 at 5:30 pm

    OK. What’s your prob with Titty Bingo, Asshole Parade, Shit Yeah Girl and Fuckface Unstoppable? They were all bands my mom was in, ya Penis Shit Pile!

    Now listen and listen good: I got some books, see. And these books are coming off the shelf, see. Some you may like, other…eh. You get here Friday, March 27th before noon to get first dibs. Any other time I do not know that the selection will be up to your discriminatin’ taste. I’ll be here around 9:00 AM +/-. If you are in contact with your friend CHAMBS over break you may relay the message for at the moment I am too tired(trying to sound like a 1940s gangster for some reason. does it work?). Whatevs.

  2. March 25, 2010 at 6:22 pm

    Cooool, yeah I’ll be there tomorrow to pay tuition and pick up my books and such, I’ll come by the library when that’s all squared away. I’ll tell Chambs, but only after I’ve had my pick of the litter.

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