Friday Fun Facts-Rich People Being Naughty Edition
It’s been awhile since we did the Friday Fun Facts, so here it is. There’s nothing better than watching rich people use their fame and fortune to beat women, kill people, and spread sexually transmitted diseases around their communities, instead of maybe trying to help out the less fortunate. Because that would be totally boring. And it seems that all you have to do to clear your name these days is hit a few home runs or sell a few albums.
-Dr. Dre beat up a woman at a party in 1991. Here’s what he had to say about it- “People talk all this shit, but you know, somebody fuck with me, I’m gonna fuck with them. I just did it, you know. Ain’t nothing you can do now by talking about it. Besides, it ain’t no big thing– I just threw her through a door.” He did no jail time.
-Vin Diesel once walked into a crowded mall with an erection. There were no survivors.
-That last one may or may not be true.
-I tried so hard to find dirt on Greg Gumbel. Probably one of the most boring people ever. When he does slip up, I’ll be there, in all my crapulent glory, laughing, dancing, and confident that I will be able to die a happy man.
-There’s a Derek Jeter Herpes Tree. But just imagine all the women that would still sleep with him after knowing this.
-In 1969, Ted Kennedy drove his car off a bridge (see “Chappaquiddick Incident“)He escaped unharmed, but he kind of forgot that Mary Jo Kopechne was in the car with him, left the scene, and didn’t call the police until the next morning. She didn’t survive, and was found by some fishermen the next day. Ted also eluded jail time, with the judge declaring, “has already been, and will continue to be punished far beyond anything this court can impose”.
-Well, I gotta get going. Alyson H. of Mounds View (who also happens to be my sister) has entrusted me with the care of Rone-Bone and Baby G. for the afternoon.