Home > Experiments > Friday Fun Facts – The Idiocy of Humanity

Friday Fun Facts – The Idiocy of Humanity

Humans are an amazing species. We’ve traveled to the depths of the ocean, propelled animals into outer space, and even figured out how to successfully operate on a live brain. Then there are those who stick their junk in a chainsaw. I found this list of instructions that have been put on products, most likely to address an incident involving whatever the instructions are about.

– Swedish Chainsaw – Do not attempt to stop chain with hands or genitals.

-Fritos – You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

-Swanson Frozen Dinner – Serving suggestion: defrost.

-Dial Soap – Directions: use like regular soap.

-Rowena Iron – Do not iron clothes on body.

-Sainsbury’s Peanuts – Warning: contains nuts.

-Sears Hairdryer – Do not use while sleeping.

-Knife Sharpener – Caution: knives are sharp.

-Bicycle Shin Pads – Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.

-Microwave Oven – Do not use for drying pets.  Little Billy will never make that mistake again.

-Aspirin – Do not take if allergic to aspirin.

-Laundry Detergent – Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.

-Rum bottle – Open bottle before drinking.

-Blowtorch – Not used for drying hair.

-Fireworks – Do not put in mouth.

-Wrist watch – Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.

Well I think you get the point. For every Einstein there’s a million rubes who end up with a watch stuck in their crotch. Next week on The Blog, I’m beginning an international publicity campaign. As we all know, the readership of this thing is already nationwide, and the next target is the WORLD!!!!! First stop – the Vegemite-devouring Australians. It’s going to be a pant-load of fun.

Categories: Experiments Tags: ,
  1. No comments yet.
  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


humor | musings | fiction

Little Fears

Tales of whimsy, humor and courgettes

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple

Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is optional.


Seer of the invisible, scribe of the unwritten

Regie's Blog

The pen is mightier than the sword ...unless someone is trying to stab you with a sword. Then, it's the sword ...definitely the sword.

Idiot Joy Showland

This is why I hate intellectuals

Cooking Without Limits

Food Photography & Recipes

Dalton's Magazine

Spanning the world with pieces of think


Empowered by guys in short pants to write whatever I want, whenever I want, for no money whatsoever.

Highest Form of Whit

Bigger. Bolder. Bloggier.*

Suzie Speaks

The Adventures Of a Thirty-Something Life


.....teasing the stunted masses with my opposable thumbs....

The Brown Road Chronicles

Stories about country living, old houses, dirt roads, fresh air and other amusing (and possibly even inspirational) anecdotes!

I Miss You When I Blink

and other classics

a comedian's notebook

taking comedy seriously, but not too seriously

Still Skeptical After All These Years

Jim Wheeler - Rational Skeptic

The Shameful Sheep

shit storms, shame, and stories that make you cringe

pen pals on pills

there are no meds for crippling separation anxiety

%d bloggers like this: