Australia Week – The Cuisine of a Baleful Land

To get the true Australian experience, one has to sample as much of the natural culture as possible. We get nothing but watered down versions here in America. Take Leann Chin, for example. If you are in China, do a bunch of zit faced white kids stand behind a counter, look really sad, and then overcharge you for a slimy piece of processed chicken? No way, brah! So I went into the heart of the country, and grabbed a seat at the place where it all began: Outback Steakhouse. You see, it’s the real deal down under. Actual Australians work there, and it’s awesome! They call onion rings Bloomin Onions! How do they think of that? And they don’t barbecue things there, they “barbie” them! Whaaaaa?! When the waitress asked me if I wanted an Aussie-Tizer, I blew water out of my nose and all over her face because I was laughing so hard. I guess when you’re living on an island by yourself down there, you get pretty creative.

That’s me about to go into Outback Steakhouse. ^

But anyways, I wanted to get a good idea of what the economy was like down there, you know, check out their import/export situation. I looked at Outback’s list of beers, and decided on a foreign import called Miller Lite. I noticed they also had some exotic cuts of meat, so I went ahead and got myself a delicious New York Strip. Australia has never tasted so good.

Immediately after eating, I decided to swim it off by that one big white thing you always see in pictures. What the heck is that for anyways?

Oh and that shark? I wouldn’t worry about that. She was just a big cuddly nibbler.

Well here is the Australian Blong (blog song) of the day. You may recognize it from Dumb and Dumber when Lloyd Christmas gets robbed by the sweet old lady on the motorized cart. It’s Australia’s own Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds – Red Right Hand.