The Man With the Golden Blog/Blogfinger/Blog Royale/The Blog is Not Enough/Blog of Solace/OctoBlog

So it’s been over two weeks since the last post. What have I been doing? Well that’s a little personal, and quite frankly I’m offended that you would ask. Just play the song below while you’re reading. It makes it a lot cooler.

A small Cessna glides through the skies above the YCL headquarters, carrying a mysterious, secret agent-y looking guy. We can only see him from behind, but it is evident that he is in peak physical condition. 6’1″, around 190 lbs, agile. Like a cat. Come to think of it, he bears a striking resemblance to the writer of this Blog. Hmmm, interesting. Having just attended a very fancy dinner party with many important foreign leaders, he is dressed in a tuxedo, and is looking very dapper. Too bad he doesn’t know any other languages, because he just kind of sat there at the dinner without any clue what the crap anyone was talking about, not contributing anything, and basically feeling like an all-around doofus. He even put his elbows on the table. Idiot. Anyways, he produces a silenced pistol from his pocket. “Looks like this is the end of the line for you, Kensworth,” he says to the pilot. A quick “pew-pew” (whatever sound a silenced pistol makes), and the pilot is kicked out of the door. “Crap. Probably shouldn’t have shot him, because I don’t know how to fly this thing,” he mutters to himself. It’s starting to look like this guy maybe isn’t qualified to be in a situation involving international intrigue and un-piloted flight. He grabs the nearest parachute pack, making sure there are some snacks in the pocket in case he misses his landing point and has to walk. It is imperative that he makes it to his destination. YCL headquarters has been inactive for over two weeks, and this man is going to do something about it. He leaps out the side door of the small aircraft, falling with his back to the earth. He pulls some more guns out, and in slow motion, probably something looking like the Matrix, pumps a few rounds into the Cessna’s fuel tanks. He smiles as the plane explodes, and then lets out a bittersweet sigh, because he really wishes he had brought a video camera so he could have shown his friends the awesome thing he just did. He deploys the parachute, and of course, just like any movie, something doesn’t work right, and blah blah blah, long story short, he gets everything going like it should. He zereos in on the western window of the YCL headquarters, releases the ‘chute at the last possible moment, and smashes through the window, goes into a controlled roll, and does a backflip into the leather chair in front of the computer. He opens WordPress to log into the YCL Blog. At that moment, I lurch out of the shadows and twist the guy’s neck, attempting to break it. Having never done that before, I don’t do it right, and I think I actually re-align some of the man’s vertebrae that have been out of wack, because he lets out a satisfied groan and asks me if I could twist it the other way as well. Then I hit him over the head with a pan and call the cops, because hey, some guy I don’t know just broke my window and came into my apartment. Oh, you thought I was the guy in the plane? Well, for one, where would I get access to a Cessna, Einstein? Or guns?  I’ve never been the type to attend formal dinner parties either, and you can bet your bottom dollar I don’t plan on making that an official interest of mine anytime soon. That’s all besides the point anyways. The Blog is back, girlfriend.