Study: Complaining on Facebook Actually Can Change The Weather

When I was cruising Facebook earlier today, I came upon a link that I saw posted in my News Feed. That link led me to an article about the nature of Facebook and its influence on nature. “Where can I find this article?” you are probably wondering. You are reading it, right now. Let us continue.

Studies have shown that posting comments such as “Uggh, snow? Again? FML,” can actually be observed by the atmosphere, which is much more intuitive and sensitive to the thoughts, feelings, and elemental tolerances of humans than we previously believed it to be.  Some posts, like “Why does it have to be sooo cold? Brrrr!” have been shown to reach as far as the sun itself, causing it to “crank up the heat” a few notches in order to obliterate any below-freezing temperatures that may be causing discomfort to the crybaby, who probably is already in a warm room, sitting in front of their computer. Meteorologists have concluded that using Facebook to air any climatical grievances is the only proven method to stop rain, make it warmer, or do just about anything else that will bring unfettered joy to anyone complaining about an entity that as little as five years ago was thought to be uncontrollable. We are truly witnessing a revolution.