We’ve all heard of this craze that is P90x. What a pile of horse feathers. Muscle confusion? What is that? If I’m not mistaken, muscles are just meat. Meat can’t get confused. Have you ever gone to an upscale chophouse and ordered a grade-A, “well-confused” steak, because you thought it would taste better than the less-bewildered cuts of meat?

Muscle confusion. Pssshh. The next thing you know, my small intestine is going to start having “feelings,” and I won’t be able to enjoy the edgy comedy of Eddie Murphy lest I offend my digestive system.

I’m much more partial to the Z90x. It goes a little something like this:

I just do whatever I want. It’s like the honey badger.

The Z90x is pretty badass.

Take this morning for instance. I did what I like to call “Ab-Blast,” which is exactly what it sounds like. I blasted the abs. Just whaled on ’em. Absolutely went to town on those bad boys. Did I plan this in advance? Please believe me when I say that I did not. Go with the flow baby, go with the flow. Tomorrow, I’ll probably be sore from that, so I’ll get up, and I’ll be like, “abs are sore, should probably do something else.” So then I’ll go run for a while. How far? I don’t know, I’ll keep going ’til I get tired and want to go home and eat, which leads to another hallmark of Z90X. Diet. This isn’t one of those “hey man, don’t eat fat, eggs are bad, lay off the cheese” diets. The more the better I always say. But, for legal reasons, I should probably tell you to consult your doctor first. That being said, I didn’t. I don’t even have a doctor. The entire philosophy of Z90x is this: I like to eat, but I don’t want to get fat. I like to eat a lot of food that isn’t healthy. I also like a lot of food that is healthy. So why not marry the two? Go ahead, go on a six mile run, and reward yourself with a cheese pizza, but maybe put an ass-load of broccoli on it. Do these two cancel each other out? I don’t know, who do I look like, acclaimed celebrity trainer Jillian Michaels? Oh yeah, you can’t see me. Well I don’t look like her, trust me. Or if that doesn’t suit your style, go ahead and make some pasta. Go ahead, boil it up. Smother it in alfredo sauce, I won’t be mad. After you’ve done that, chop up some mushrooms and spinach, and throw them into the mix. Oh yeah, that’s the stuff. This is how Z90x conducts business.

Blong (Blog Song). Link Wray – Rumble.


  1. August 10, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    LOL good one!!!!!

  1. August 25, 2011 at 9:41 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


humor | musings | fiction

Little Fears

Tales of whimsy, humor and courgettes

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple

Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is optional.


Seer of the invisible, scribe of the unwritten

Regie's Blog

The pen is mightier than the sword ...unless someone is trying to stab you with a sword. Then, it's the sword ...definitely the sword.

Idiot Joy Showland

This is why I hate intellectuals

Cooking Without Limits

Food Photography & Recipes

Dalton's Magazine

Spanning the world with pieces of think


Empowered by guys in short pants to write whatever I want, whenever I want, for no money whatsoever.

Highest Form of Whit

Bigger. Bolder. Bloggier.*

Suzie Speaks

The Adventures Of a Thirty-Something Life


This is Duh'Merica and we are all screwed......

The Brown Road Chronicles

Stories about country living, old houses, dirt roads, fresh air and other amusing (and possibly even inspirational) anecdotes!

a comedian's notebook

taking comedy seriously, but not too seriously

Still Skeptical After All These Years

Jim Wheeler - Rational Skeptic

The Shameful Sheep

shit storms, shame, and stories that make you cringe

%d bloggers like this: