Kim Jong-il Dead

I heard all this on the radio this morning. Most of this is coming from official North Korean literature:

-The first time Kim Jong-il ever played golf, he shot 38 under par, including 11 holes-in-one. Only his body guards witnessed the round.

-When he was born, winter immediately turned to spring, and rainbows appeared.

-He didn’t defecate.

-His suits became a global fashion craze.

-He was once prescribed painkillers, and, fearing addiction, made all of his closest associates take them as well. That way he wouldn’t be the only addict.

-His mood influenced the weather.

-He was the world’s biggest Hennessey customer.