Home > Random Thoughts, Simple Pleasures > Every Man, Woman, And Child Should Grow A Beard At Least Once In Their Lifetime

Every Man, Woman, And Child Should Grow A Beard At Least Once In Their Lifetime

Beards are natural. They invigorate. They teach. Hieroglyphics found near the Fertile Crescent suggest that an ancient human’s beard was regarded as a minor deity, and being in its presence could elevate one to what the Hindus would later go on to call Samadhi; the Buddhists, Nirvana; the Japanese, Bushido. The first guy to cut off his beard was branded as a heretic, smeared with animal lard, and sent into the jungle to first be licked, and then ripped apart by ravenous hordes of savage beasts, as was tradition at the time.

Everyone had beards back then. I look around today, and see so much face-skin it makes me sick. If I’ve learned anything the past few years, it is this—every time a new generation emerges, the old guard will talk ceaselessly, if you don’t tell them to shut up, about how things were better in their day. If we follow codger logic, then naturally the best time of all was when the first humans roamed—bearded, beautiful, and gloriously flocculent.

You literally have to do nothing to raise a beard. So go ahead, give it a whirl.

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  1. B
    November 30, 2012 at 1:07 am

    That was simply divine to take in. Serious. I’m adamantly pro beard and the codger logic can merge with the hipster culture or miasma of culture itself. And other big words. As a professional hemmer and hawer with my facial hair issue, you’ve pushed me over. Going the distance this time.

    • November 30, 2012 at 1:56 pm

      I’ve gotta say, beard-growing is just an all around great hobby to have.

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