Home > Minutia > One Solution To The Child Obesity Problem

One Solution To The Child Obesity Problem

I’ve been stuck behind a number of school busses in a number of neighborhoods. Despite differing localities, one common thread runs through the routing scheme: kids are getting really fat, so have a bus stop as often as possible.

This very morning, the school bus in front of me made a pick up. The kids got in, the flashing lights turned off. It moved forward about one hundred feet, stopped again. Another successful pick-up made, it accelerated off to its next stop, a hundred feet from the previous stop, two hundred feet from the original.

My radical solution: combine all three stops into one. If someone complains, inform them that kids can walk, and tell them to drive their stupid, fat, lazy kid to school themselves.

And we need more kids at each stop, because I recently saw a man with thick glasses and a comb-over standing near a stop looking very abductive-y and pervy. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t a parent. Safety in numbers.

  1. February 20, 2013 at 8:36 pm

    Great idea, but will parents really go for it? I lived in the safest neighborhood in my whole town and my parents barely let me walk two houses down on a dead end! It’s a bit extreme, but with recent abductions, parents are quite scared. Good point with safety in numbers, though.

    • February 22, 2013 at 6:02 pm

      And it seems like now half the parents sit in their cars at the stop until the bus comes.

      • February 22, 2013 at 10:38 pm

        Exactly! My mother waited at the end of my street, which was a dead end. She waited until the bus came. And in high school when we asked to walk home, because it was embarrassing, she threw a fit and claimed we could be kidnapped. We could see the concern, but the walk would have been so much better for our health twice a day.

  2. February 22, 2013 at 6:13 pm

    If the kids weren’t fat in the first place, they could outrun any abduction attempts, or at least be strong enough to kick them in the mojos. I’m with you: a fit, well-trained child population ready to defend itself is the answer…. uh, wait, didn’t Hitler try that already? Regardless, maybe we should just tie an X-box to the back of each school bus and let the kids chance after it.

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