Home > Cogitation > You Can Spend Your Entire Life Building Bridges…….

You Can Spend Your Entire Life Building Bridges…….

Years back, when I was working in sustenance delivery, my manager got a thoughtful look in his eye and told me this:

“You know, you can spend your entire life building bridges. But, during that time, you suck one cock, just one, and everybody remembers you as a cocksucker, not a bridge builder.”

At the time, I wondered why he had singled me out as the keeper of his deep, dark secret.

Until today, I didn’t realize that his words transcended sexual experimentation.

Two years ago at a friend’s cabin, I bought a 36 pack of beer for only $12. Just one 36 pack. And the beer, Boxer Lager, has a crown on every can. A crown! What symbol has humanity produced that surpasses the crown as a mark of respect and honor? Yet the insults rained down on me all weekend, even as I defended the fiscal responsibility of my choice. I had spent less money and gotten more alcohol than anyone at that cabin. America is supposed to reward those who have more money and more things than people with less money and fewer things.

Flash forward, to now: These days, I buy better beer. And even if I continue to do so for the rest of my life, I’ll still get calls like this one, which came in just this morning: “Hey, I saw a guy walking down the street with a 36 pack of Boxer, reminded me of you.”

I’ll always be remembered as the guy who made a wise, thoughtful decision to save money, and get more for the little money that was spent, even if that meant drinking something that tasted like it leaked out of a homeless man with bad kidneys.




  1. June 1, 2013 at 10:49 pm

    That is so true, just ask Johnny the Pistol-Whipper. The man served his time, realizes and regrets his mistakes, yet he is forever branded with that scarlet “PW”.

  2. June 2, 2013 at 11:01 pm

    Your desription of Boxer Beeer is dead on. For that reason alone, I will think of you whenever I see a homeless guy peeing into a beer bottle.

    • June 3, 2013 at 3:08 pm

      Haha, so you’ve had it?

      • June 3, 2013 at 3:24 pm

        Wow, looking back over my comment, it looks like I was drinking Boxer when I wrote it! I swear, I was sober… which makes it more sad, really. Anyway, yes, I had some many years ago, in Anchorage, for the same reason you bought it: cheap and plentiful — just like the natural bi-product that it produces 20 minutes or so later…

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