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A Pair of Jokes

“Controlling the mind is a more effective means of social control than punishing the body.” —Michel Foucault

I’ve come up with a way to batter both someone’s mind and body.

Here’s a ‘your daddy’ joke I wrote.

“Your daddy’s so dumb he tells ‘your momma’ jokes. To you.”

That is just rich.

Unless, of course, you plan on telling it to an individual who hails from a dysfunctional home, and the father really does treat the woman whom he impregnated with disrespect. So a word of caution: before presenting this humdinger to some ragamuffin you really think has it coming, take a moment to brush up on that person’s background. Nothing too personal, just ask what the situation was like at home growing up, were they rich, is either parent in prison, etc. Then quickly size up your mark. Is this a person that can take a joke? Does he or she have a violent temper? If they sat on you, would it hurt?

It would be wise to take a few basic martial arts courses beforehand. Also wear something hard around your neck, as the trachea is becoming one of the more trendy spots to blast in an attack. But make sure the thing protecting your neck matches your flesh, so people think that it’s uncovered, and when they punch it, then, well, let’s just say you’ll be able to use this next joke on them:

“Your daddy’s so dumb he raised a person who can’t even tell when another person is wearing a skin-camouflaged neck protecting device.”

You can probably lay off the jokes at this point, having provided both psychological and physical damage to the loser with the stupid dad. Go get lunch. You earned it.

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  1. April 8, 2014 at 10:16 am

    OK, that got a good chuckle.

  2. April 8, 2014 at 11:34 am

    This in-person comedy stuff is hard. How about we just tell these jokes to random people on online forums?

    • April 8, 2014 at 9:26 pm

      Yeah, I was hoping someone would go out and do this. I’m much more comfortable hiding inside and not talking to people.

  3. April 9, 2014 at 2:17 pm

    Haha, I loved this. To be honest, tell it to anyone. Either anything can be joked about, or nothing can. And heck, if it offends said ragamuffin, I bet they had it coming (they probably cut in line, or didn’t say thank yo when you held the door open).

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