Archive

Archive for April 16, 2014

Names I’d Give To Cats

I’ve been thinking of names for cats.

The first would work best for a ‘thick’ cat: not fat, but powerful. This cat would be named Rocco Hamfist. roccohamfist

The second is reserved for more of a suave, sleek tomcat. I’d call him Bruce Mandick.

Rocco and Bruce. They’re not losing any fights in the alley behind the fish market. Growing up, brucemandickwe had a cat named Muffin. He got hit by a car. He lived, albeit with some heavy injuries.

Had Rocco been hit by the same car, the thing would have crumpled around him. The mechanic would be flummoxed as to how the front end had obtained a Rocco Hamfist-shaped hole in it. Bruce Mandick would then walk in, push the grease-monkey aside, and fix the car for him.

That’s how much a name matters.

Rocco and Bruce would impregnate many cats. Their offspring would have names like Zenobia Trident. Gullveig Tetrahedron. Lucretia The Terrible. They would rule all the land.

So, if you think you’ve got a manlier name for a cat, or believe your feline could out-impregnate these two, by all means, let me know.

%d bloggers like this: