Home > Humor > Here’s What I Think Of Those Bastards At Hobby Lobby

Here’s What I Think Of Those Bastards At Hobby Lobby

A few weeks back, I was in need of blue paint. I was attending a party, you see, and certain parameters of that gathering required me to look like a member of the Blue Man Group.

To Hobby Lobby I went. In the art section, I asked a woman whose name I forget, probably Ruth or Mahalath or something religious, what I could use to paint my head blue. She then quoth Leviticus, chapter 19, verse 28: ‘Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves.’

I told her I was simply painting my dome, not tattooing it. She then reached out and touched the hem of my garment, and again, quoted Leviticus, chapter 19, verse 19. The exchange went as follows:

Hobby Lobby Lady: ‘Do not mate different kinds of animals.’

Me: ‘I don’t.’

HLL: ‘Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed.’

Me: ‘I don’t.’

HLL: ‘Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material.’

She had me there, for I was wearing a shirt composed of 60% cotton, and 40% polyester.

Me: ‘Are you going to help me find the paint or not?’

HLL: ‘I do not work here.’

Once again, she had me. So I asked a woman that actually did work there where I could find the paint I needed. She didn’t know. After some looking, I eventually found some blue tempura paint that met my needs exactly.

So, Hobby Lobby, it is my opinion that you should invest more in your employees, particularly on training them in knowledge of paint.

  1. July 6, 2014 at 12:11 pm

    A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!! This definitely just made my day!! I’m still laughing!! I also enjoy ranting about people and other things that I can’t stand so you should follow my blog, comment on a post you like:) loserwithalaptopgirl.wordpress.com

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