Home > Cogitation > Force Adrian Peterson To ‘Switch’ His Name

Force Adrian Peterson To ‘Switch’ His Name

The recent Adrian Peterson controversy is one with many possible angles and viewpoints. Is it okay to beat a four-year-old child with a switch and rip open his scrotum if it is going to make him behave? We’ll never know. Is it okay to beat a 29-year-old man with a stick and puncture his nugget pouch for tearing into a four-year-old’s gonad bag? There is no scientific answer.

But the most disturbing question of all is this: why has no one offered up a proposal that would force the NFL star to change his name to Adrian Beat-his-son? It shames him, it’s a fun play on his real name, and the NFL would make even more money when Vikings fans have to re-buy updated number 28 ‘Beathisson’ jerseys.

All I’m asking is for the government and NFL to give some good old fashioned public humiliation a shot.

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  1. September 30, 2014 at 4:50 pm

    Unfortunately, NFL doesn’t like doing name changes. People have been asking to rename Redskins for decades.

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