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Another Successful Earth Day

I didn’t use a bathroom today. Just held it all in. That’s a lot of unflushed water and unused toilet paper. At midnight, I will rush down to the creek behind my apartment and blast the built-up toxins from my body into the water. The fish will filter my waste through their gills, converting it into drinkable water, and I will clean my buttocks with a local rabbit. That rabbit will hop through the forest, pollinating flowers and trees as he or she goes along.

Soon, a small child will smell a flower that bloomed because of me, and deer miles downstream will drink from the creek and be refreshed by my body’s recycled garbage.

That’s how I contributed to The Solution.

What did you do for Mother Earth today?

  1. April 22, 2015 at 11:17 pm

    I gave her a Happy Earth Day card.

  2. April 23, 2015 at 5:54 am

    I cut up all of my six pack rings before throwing them into the ocean.

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