Home > Uncategorized > Using Kickstarter to Fund Punchbeginner

Using Kickstarter to Fund Punchbeginner

Hey everyone, I started a Kickstarter campaign!!

The pitch:

Ideally, I would love to create a website called Punchbeginner that allows users to donate money to me in order to fund my creative projects. Musicians, writers, artists, filmmakers, and entrepreneurs would also be allowed to use the website for the same purpose, but they would not get as much money as me. I would get the most money.


Our logo. The text is in lowercase letters to show that we’re different, and don’t follow the ‘normal’ rules.

Once my website is up and running, and that sweet green comes rolling in, I could begin my inaugural project. It’s a performance piece, one of those ‘art-imitating-life’ things that people with glasses talk about. The asking price is about three million dollars, and the plot would center around what would happen if a 31-year-old man created a website for crowdfunding and was then able to retire from the profits. The best part is that this would be my only project, because the storyline goes on in real-time until my death, whether it comes during the wild celebration that would ensue after squeezing three million dollars out of suckers on the internet, or 100 years from now, when my third implanted monkey heart fails and I can’t find another one because humans caused monkeys to become extinct.

If this sounds like something you would like to see come to life, please donate liberally and often. No refunds, and thank you in advance for your generosity.

  1. May 8, 2015 at 10:49 am

    You’ve sold me. I’m starting a Kickstarter to give to your Punchbeginner fund. The money will be arriving a real-time, too.

    • May 9, 2015 at 6:21 pm

      And I’ll start another Kickstarter to fund your Kickstarter, in order to fund my Punchbeginner, the funds of which will be diverted back to your Kickstarter in order to maximize the earning potential for all involved. I think it will work, or we’ll all end up in jail.

      • May 11, 2015 at 6:56 am

        Excellent! We should start a Bailstarter fund too, just to be safe.

  2. May 8, 2015 at 2:00 pm

    Are you trying to compete with my NEWBIESLAP concept?

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