Home > Marketing > The Solution To Subway’s Imminent Branding Problem

The Solution To Subway’s Imminent Branding Problem

I’m an “ideas man.” A “problem solver.” A guy that “gets things done.”

So, instead of sitting here with my hand down my pants, adding onto the internet trash heap of Jared prison rape jokes, I’ve already hatched a scheme to cash in on the fallout Subway is facing.

Here’s my pitch: we all know that a fat pervert can get skinny on the Subway diet. This has been pounded into our heads for the last 15 years. So, Subway, why not go the other direction and hire me, a svelte gentleman who is willing to become very, very obese from eating Subway, while also being attracted to adult women? Eh? Imagine commercials featuring a big fat guy that eats his height’s worth of meatball sandwiches every day as women surround him, feeding him cookies and caressing his ever-expanding ‘Subway Bod.’

The ball’s in your court, Subway.

Instead of 'Eat Fresh,' the slogan could be 'Eat Many Meatballs.'

Instead of ‘Eat Fresh,’ the slogan could be ‘Eat Many Meatballs.’

Advertisements
  1. August 19, 2015 at 6:50 pm

    But what if it’s the Subway food that turns you into a pervert?

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple

Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is optional.

createdbyrcw

Seer of the invisible, scribe of the unwritten

Regie's Blog

The pen is mightier than the sword ...unless someone is trying to stab you with a sword. Then, it's the sword ...definitely the sword.

Idiot Joy Showland

This is why I hate intellectuals

Cooking without Limits

Food Photography & Recipes

Dalton's Magazine

Spanning the world with pieces of think

ROAMIN' GNOMIALS

Empowered by guys in short pants to write whatever I want, whenever I want, for no money whatsoever.

Highest Form of Whit

Bigger. Bolder. Bloggier.*

Suzie Speaks

The Adventures Of a Thirty-Something Life

Duh'Merica

.....teasing the stunted masses with my opposable thumbs....

The Brown Road Chronicles

Stories about country living, old houses, dirt roads, fresh air and other amusing (and possibly even inspirational) anecdotes!

I Miss You When I Blink

and other classics

a comedian's notebook

taking comedy seriously, but not too seriously

Still Skeptical After All These Years

Jim Wheeler - Rational Skeptic

The Shameful Sheep

shit storms, shame, and stories that make you cringe

pen pals on pills

there are no meds for crippling separation anxiety

upside ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sideways

embrace life :: explore design :: live simply :: laugh loud

%d bloggers like this: