Home > Observation > The People of Trader Joe’s

The People of Trader Joe’s

Browse through People of Walmart for a bit. Pretty scary stuff.

The universe needs balance, though. Enter the yuppies of Trader Joe’s, a force countering the grizzled mass that comprises Walmart’s patronage, not in looks, but in sheer pomposity.

Last Friday, I witnessed a 40-something male, clad in snug, halfway-down-the-quad navy blue short pants and a tight pastel plaid shirt, shaming an elderly woman that may have been his mother, lover—or through some sort of strange sci-fi twist, daughter—for suggesting that they buy frozen corn.

Picture that: unfettered fury, arising from the mere mention of produce stored below thirty two degrees Fahrenheit.

The situation played out like this:

Mother, daughter, or lover: “They have some corn in the freezer.”

Man, through gritted teeth, with a vein protruding from his forehead, talking very slowly: “What did……..I tell you……..about frozen…………………… products.”

Then he stood, glaring at her in silence, as a look of genuine terror overtook the woman’s face.

I feel like I should have intervened, but I got the vibe that this would have earned me a room temperature organic daikon radish stuffed into one of my many unfrozen orifices, courtesy of short pants.


  1. August 8, 2016 at 7:08 pm

    Great stuff. Only thing worse than the ‘marts unwashed masses are the yuppie dolts at TJs watching while the poor check out guy bags 17 hemp sacks full of naan and $9 1lb beef packages. Lol

  2. August 8, 2016 at 7:52 pm

    You’re confusing stupid people with yuppies. Stupid people don’t yet realize that frozen is better than canned if you can’t get it fresh. Yuppies pay someone else to prepare it for them.

    Also, each Trader Joe’s heavily reflects the neighborhood it’s in. Shop at several, find your store. Mine is friggin’ awesome.

    • August 8, 2016 at 8:09 pm

      Yeah, it’s generally not bad in there. I just have a problem where I notice and remember the annoying people.

  3. August 9, 2016 at 1:52 pm

    I’ve been to Trader Joe’s twice in my life. Honestly, I don’t see the draw.

    • August 9, 2016 at 3:44 pm

      It’s a place for boring middle-aged white people to feel cool while shopping for food.

  4. August 9, 2016 at 5:48 pm

    I stopped shopping at Trader Joe’s when Two-Buck Chuck wine went up to $3. Way too sophisticated for me…

    • August 9, 2016 at 6:55 pm

      If I’m not mistaken I believe they have a Trader Joe’s brand of beer that is less than four dollars for a six pack. So if you enjoy headaches and feeling bloated, there ya go…..

      • August 10, 2016 at 9:06 am

        What a deal! But it’s still not as cheap as a Taco Bell meal, which has the same effect…

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: