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People Are Stupid

December 1, 2011 1 comment

I read this article about Coke’s holiday cans. They’re white, not red. People are apparently drinking it, thinking that they’re getting Diet Coke. It says Coca-Cola right on the can. Not Diet Coca-Cola. I learned at a young age that when I wanted to drink something out of a can, I could pick the can up, read the label on the can, and the label would tell me what was in the can. To this day, that strategy still works.

Here’s the article: http://finance.yahoo.com/news/a-frosty-reception-for-coca-cola-s-white-christmas-cans.html

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No Shave November Is Complete

Assuming I make it about five more hours, I will have accomplished the feat of not shaving during the entire month of November. The sweet irony of this achievement is that it actually took less effort to do than if I had lived a normal, clean-shaven November.

Another Dream I Had

A while back I dreamed that some guy was moving to Japan and wanted to trade me his car for Mildred (the “stunning silver” (Nissan’s name for the color) Altima that I drive). We made the deal, then I found out that his car ran on diesel, and I got really mad. But he was in Japan so I couldn’t do anything about it.

Backwards Is Blog Today’s

.got I’ve all that’s ,day wonderful a Have .backwards written is post today’s so good anything of think Couldn’t.

What Do I Do With An Old Car Battery?

I’ve got this old car battery I need to get rid of. I would throw it in the trash, but I don’t think you’re supposed to put car batteries in there, because it could explode and hurt a garbage man. There’s a pretty big river near here, as well as some ponds. Is it better to toss it into one of those, or leave it in a forest somewhere? If you know please help!

Drum Solo

Badass drum solo.

 

No Shave November Rages On

November 25, 2011 1 comment

I’m exhausted. My body aches. I can’t sleep at night. My beard appears to be sucking the life from my body. It’s growing stronger at the expense of my own strength. When I eat a sandwich, it’s really my beard eating a sandwich. The nutrients bypass my malnourished organs and are instead delivered to my facial hair. This beard has turned my own digestive system against me. I’ll be glad when I can get this thing off my face (that’s what she said).

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