Mr. Meat’s Pickle Shop

You saunter on into Mr. Meat’s Pickle Shop. It smells really meaty in here, which is quite suspicious for a pickle shop. You look in the display case – meat-flavored pickles, dill-meat, and some sort of pickle that seems to be crafted entirely out of meat. It’s really gross. Mr. Meat emerges from the back room.

Mr. Meat: “Figgypudding! Welcome. Would you like to try my latest meat-pickle fusion?”

You: “Thank you for offering, but no. I just need to know if the hot, adulterous wife has been here.”

Mr. Meat: (Slightly offended) “Oh, well I think I can help you. Come in the back so we can talk.”

You go to the back.

Mr. Meat: “Have you heard anything about what Pickle is doing over at his shop? That guy’s an idiot. Doesn’t know crap about meat.”

You: “He might say the same about you and pickles.”

Mr. Meat: “You son of a bitch.”

Mr. Meat then proceeds to toss you into a meat-grinder. He then calls Mr. Pickle over, and the two collaborate on the most divine pickle-meat synthesis ever created. Your death has caused an innovation in the culinary world, so you can at least take solace in that. So yeah, you’re dead.

Well that sucked, I want to start over.

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