You grab his shirt, rip him over the bar, and scream in his face “LISTEN YOU WORTHLESS TURD, I HAVE QUESTIONS, AND YOU HAVE ANSWERS!!!! SPILL IT POINDEXTER!!!!” Interestingly enough, he cracks. Easily, I might add. After an embarrassing, unnecessary confession, you find out that The Moustache has three cats, likes to do needlepoint when he’s not tending bar, and that “The Moustache” is actually an ironic nickname, given to him because he actually can’t grow facial hair.
He gives you two pieces of information: He says that 1) the hot, adulterous wife (You have just now realized that M&M never gave you her name. But it is becoming apparent that people still seem to understand who the hot, adulterous wife is. This case is turning into an onion – the more layers you peel back, the more it stinks.) left the Shop for Potato River Beach two days ago, and 2) she was lookin’ really hot and adulterous when she left. Do you: