Spud Foundry

You arrive at the Spud Foundry, Potato Town’s token dirty factory. You know, it’s got all the smoke stacks, giant pipes dumping waste into Potato River, and of course, depressed, down-trodden looking workers wandering about. The Potato People, as Dr. Foghorn said, tend to dwell down in the shade of the pipes that excrete the effluvium of the foundry’s waste. You pick your way down the rocky wall of the small gorge that has been carved out by the Potato River. And there they are, the Potato People. Bloated, tuberous, and maniacal. You approach what appears to be their leader, a giant, elliptical shaped Potato Person, known as Tuberious, who has rooty-looking shoots sprouting all over his body. What an ugly bastard. Since this whole scene reeks of rotten dirt and depravity, you want to get out of here as quickly as possible.

“The hot, adulterous wife. Have any of you spuds seen her?”

“Welcome to our sanctuary, Figgypudding. Come, have a drink.”

You take the cup that is offered, toss back a sip, and gag a little.

Tuberious: “Don’t you enjoy our fermented potato nectar?”

“You guys drink your own nectar? It tastes like baby sh*t.”

Tuberious: “Easy now, Figgypudding. You are, after all, a guest here.”

“All I need to know is if any of you have seen the hot, adulterous wife. If not, I’ll be on my way.”

“Very well. Maybe we recently sold her a vat of this so-called “baby sh*t.” Or not. Maybe she took that vat out to the Dirty Hippie Desert to get wasted and listen to those worthless communists play bongos around a bonfire. Or maybe she wasn’t even here. Either way, there’s more if you want some.”

Do you:

Head out to the Dirty Hippie Desert.

Stick around and see if you can’t get acclimated to the taste of Potato Nectar, and maybe get more details.

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