Posts Tagged ‘band names’

Friday Fun Facts – Band Names

Haven’t done the weird band names segment in a while. I went to the A.V. Club’s “2010: The Year in Band Names” feature, picked the ones I liked, and then stole them. Go check out the whole list here. Let’s just cut right to the chase. As always, most of them contain some sort of crude language, so if you’re offended by that, lighten up, they’re just words. I didn’t make them up, so it’s not my fault.

– Sh*t Fight     – V.A.G. (for Very Angry Girls)      – Scary Areolas       – Stegosaurus Flex

-Sorry I Stabbed Your Daughter     – Kill You In The Face       – LudaChrist

-Diet Cokeheads         – Drug Honkey        – The Vomit Arsonist      – We Aren’t Very Good

– Caw!Caw!       – And I Was Like, What?       – Man/Ass      – Hogz in Dandyland

– The League of Extraordinary Gz         – My Sweet Patootie      – Smell My Pillow

– Bird Ate My Donut       -Babies With Rabies         -Fetus Heist       -Wrath of the Girth

– Righteous Brisket          – Dangermuffin         – Smelly F*cking Milkpants     -Meatbikini

– Diarrhea Planet        – Syphilis Sauna         – The Electric Assholes

Yeah, that’s it. Now go on, get outta here.

Band Names is Back Baby!!

“Get, the funk, outta my face yeah, get that funk, outta my face, wikika-wikka-wikka-what?” Greetings, Internet. That was me just singin a little funk tune. Just made it up right now. Impressed? Haha, what a silly question, of course you are.  If not, well, get the funk outta my Blog. Lots of funk talk today. I’ve been in a spiritual and existential funk the past few days, and decided to get back on track by doing a Band Names segment. I also went shopping for a new suit. Yaaaaaaaaay!!! As always, I pretty much steal all of these from other websites, but is it really stealing? It’s all out there on the internet, how can it actually belong to anyone anyways? To quote Super Troopers, “Nobody owns the water, -it’s God’s water.” That being said, here ya go.

-Hitting Midgets with Things      -Stop Hitting Me in the Forehead!!      -Giggle and Stink

-Sweet Stank Cheesy Bands     -Cows on Probation         -Gay Dad

-Dance Gavin Dance (that goes out to my nephew Baby G)       -Satan’s Almighty Penis

-Ken Dodd’s Dad’s Dog’s Dead         -Snatch Maggots       -1000 Homo DJ’s

-An Oily Discharge      -Those Magnificent Bastards       -Santa Hates You

-Gay Bikers on Acid        -F**king and Vomiting     -Feed Us Fetus

-Stinky Pinky        -JD Dyslexia      -Mammy Panties

-My Middle Testicle       -The Boob Brushers

-A Cat Born in an Oven Isn’t A Cake       -Porn on the Cob   -Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie

-Hot Buttered Aspirin    -Frothy Walrus    -Ovarian Trolley

-Nate’s Nuts (Actually not a band name. My friend Nate for some reason wanted his nuts mentioned in a Blog. There ya go buddy!)

Blong. I’m really starting to miss the 90’s.

Categories: Music Tags: ,

Band Names Plus a Bonus Prelude – The Rue of the Average-Sized Man

Since the dawn of recorded Time, or at least ever since the first smart-ass propped himself up on his hind legs, people have been giving other people crap. You know the drill — acne, irritable bowel syndrome, that lazy eye you’ve been meaning to take care of, clinical grade halitosis, morbid obesity — the list rages on. And the nicknames that accompany these afflictions — s**thead, d**ckwad, a**sbreath, Puppy Nugget Bag, f*****eyed******face****with-soggy-underwear-and-c**k-for-brains. We’ve all been called all of these names at least hundreds of times. Some people have kids that really suck. Yet we carry on. Anyways I think there was a point to this. Ah yes. You all may remember Big Limm, Freemont, Nebraska’s #1-selling rapper. You don’t? You know, the guy with rhymes so raw that they gotta be cooked first? Internal temperature of 165 degrees? Almost 60 copies sold in one weekend (now that’s called moving product, son!)? Well he was mentioned in one of the early days of this very Blog.  Anyways, I know someone named Slim(I call him Slimminy Cricket), who is…………wait for it………………….just about there…………………very thin. And I used to know a guy named Big J, who was, for all intents and purposes, a very big guy. But then I meet this character going around calling himself Big Limm. I get a good look, and I’m like, he’s really not that big. But he’s also not small enough for it to be one of those ironic nicknames, like your ugly friend that everyone calls Pretty Boy. And I began to think, there is a severe lack of good names for average sized people. I’m sure he didn’t want to be called Proportionate Limm, or Healthy Weight for My Height Limm, bad-ass as they may sound. So it was recently changed to simply, J-Limm. What are people who aren’t really big or really little to do? Waft through life with their noses to the air, pretending that the lack of a pretentious moniker doesn’t bother them? Quite frankly it’s their problem, I solved it for myself by going out and creating a genius apellation, YoungCleanLegit (opposite of Ol’Dirty Bastard for the hundreds of new daily readers). I was hoping to somehow tie that in with this next Band Names segment, but it’s really hard for me to do stuff. So here are more crappy/awesome band names. They are all stolen from the website of a publication that is now dead to me. So I don’t feel bad. As usual, there’s probably some naughty language used. Hehe!!!

-Poofinger        -Bonerama         -Brutal Dildos       -MC Vagina       -The Clit Rippers

-Genital Hercules        -The Poontang Wranglers       -Public Display of Funk

-National Ass Groovin Association    -Guns N’Rosa Parks            -Tom Cruise Control

-Honkeytonk Homeslice    -Nitrous Foxide      -Fecal Corpse      -Maggot Twat

-Corpse Vomit       -16 Bitch Pile-Up   (favorite)       -Fuck Start Your Face

-TwoDeadSluts OneGoodFuck (I have no words)        -Super Fucking Judo Flip

-Sh-Sh-Sh Shark Attack!         -Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza

-The Busiest Bankruptcy Lawyers in Minnesota    -Dave Coulier & The Cut It Outs

-We Will Eat Rats to Survive    -David Copperfuck     -Sexhawk    -The God Damn Doo Wop Band

-Here Comes Old Vodka Tits      -You Ruined Christmas

-Sorry About Your Couch (the name seemed a bit too topical be around for longer than a week, but they actually lasted for about 5 years)

-Instant Asshole         -Gay Beast        -The House That Gloria Vanderbilt


Band Names….Again

Donde esta la biblioteca everyone? For the non-Spaniards in the bunch, that means, “how is it going?” Well, I had some other stuff written last night, but it just wasn’t groovin right, you know? So I got lazy and threw together some more band names. I also began subscribing to the word of the day, and have been trying to impetuate those into each post. So that is what I have been up to. Well, before I start to bloviate (WORD OF THE DAY!!!! WOOOOOO WOOOOOOOO!!!!!) I’ll get to the band names. Same warning as always, contains crude language.

-Gay Witch Abortion – they are actually from Minneapolis, and I just listened to them recently. They can be summed up in one word, two syllables- SAAAA-WEEEET!!!!


-Da Bears – why yes, as a matter of fact they are from…….San Diego?

-The Asbestos Tampons           -Sex Rat             -Butt Stomach           -Gay Baby

-Roger’s Porn Collection        -Harmonica Lewinsky      -Chevy Metal    -Clusterfunk


-Mel Gibson & the Pants – also from Minneapolis, also SAAA-WEEET

-The Mister Fuckhead Ensemble    -Cribshitter

-Slut Barf – “Hey Sean, what are you doing tonight?” “Oh nothing much…….just GOING TO SEE SLUT BARF!!!!BOOOOYAAAH!!!!

-Clown Vomit      -My!Gay!Husband!       -Steaming Wolf Penis      -Monster Cock Rally

-Best Fwends      -The Cornish Gay Men    -Bi-Furious       -Boneless Children Foundation

-White Pee          -Expensive Shit        -Those Fucking Unicorns

I think that will suffice for now. Here’s a blong that has kind of grown on me in the past few days.

Categories: Music Tags: ,

Band Names Part Deux

Hola to everyone. You may or may not have noticed that I have begun to use foreign tongues in this post.This whole going nationwide thing got me thinking, “What if some German boy with a belly full of schnitzel comes across this thing, and doesn’t speak English?” I gotta be prepared for that, otherwise that kid is probably going to go back to some website about making sausage or something.  Diversity is key in the blogging business.

Well, enough of that. We’ll dive right into the meat and potatoes of this thing. More crazy band names today, and as usual, if you are offended by filthy language, avert your gaze. I pretty much stole all of these from the Onion, big whoop wanna fight about it?

I didn’t notice when I was writing these down, but it turned out pretty heavy on the back end of things.  These people never cease to amaze me:

-3 Piston Ass Hammer    -Fecalized Rectal Sperm Sewage     -Diarrhea Til You Die

-Crapulence      -Farticus      -Bonghit Billy and the Ass-Crack Tassles

-Super Sonic Butt Spray      -Nuclear Butt Zipper     -Fanny Slapper

Here’s a few that involve death in some way:

-Cemetery Rapist     -Post Mortem Bong Hit      -Fuck…I’m Dead     -Abracastabya

And at last, these are either really lame or really funny. Depending on who you are.

-Touched by a Janitor     -Harrison Ford Escort

-Flock of Steven Seagals (My personal favorite. Just imagine witnessing that in person.)

-Jerry Seinfeld’s Atrophied Sac    -Urethra Franklin     -Weird Al Qaeda

-One Whore’s Town     -Wicked Pussy From the Wild West    -Menstrual Tramps

-The Unnecessary Gunpoint Lecture

Yikes. Who are these people? Anyways, here’s a blong that doesn’t really have anything to do with today’s theme.  It’s Moby, with “Alice”. The rapper is Aynzli Jones. He’s British or something.

Categories: Music Tags: , , ,

Band Names

Hi! Today we are going to explore the wacky world of odd, funny, and just plain innappropriate band names. But before we dive headfirst into the veritable genius of these musical masterminds, I had some random thoughts that I wanted to share:

-I keep getting all this stuff from the census people. I’m going to fill it out, but it keeps telling me that my response is required by law. My question is, if I don’t actually do it, wouldn’t that mean that I technically don’t exist and therefore could not get into trouble? Hmmmm, sounds to me like a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, marinated in befuddlement and peppered with flummoxation.  Looks like I have the upper hand on this one. You know what I always say, in the valley of the skunks the man without a nose is king; well in the land of the census, a man without any legs is, apparently, still legally an entire man. Weird how that works out. But back to the pertinent matter, I luckily have a man on the inside, so John S. of Rochester, if you are reading this, could you possibly weigh in on this conundrum.

Alright, back to the main focus of today’s blizz-og. I was recently exploring interesting band names, and from the looks of it, every simple one has already been used up, for example Tool, Nirvana, Metallica, etc. People are being forced to use their imaginations now that all the one word names are taken, and boy are some of these people troubled. And I should issue a warning. Mom, if you are going to continue to read this I have to tell you that some of these bands use less than reputable language.

We’ll start off with these four gems:

-Admiral Poopy Pants and his Dancing Teeth

-Mr. Quintran and the Flossy Unicorn Puppet Show

-Beerbellied Scum from Central Bucks County. I’m willing to bet that they play nothing but country.

-Zoogz Rift and his Amazing Shit-Heads

I was going to try to categorize them, but why even try:

-Amish Meth Lab      -Bjorn Again    -Drew Barrymore’s Dealer     -Fuckface Unstoppable

-Bloated Scrotum     -Ska Skank Redemption      -Sexual Disaster Quartet

-Big White Undies.  This would be the greatest band ever if they actually wear big white undies while playing.

-The Christopher Walk-ins    -German Beef Initiative   -Polka Dot Dot Dot   -Shit Yeah Girl

-Superfun Yeah Yeah Rocketship    -John the Raptist. He’s a rapper if you didn’t get it.

-Baby Got Bacteria       -Girl Fart     -Butt Funnel     -Lesbian Dopeheads on Mopeds

I’m pretty sure these next few all have to be death metal bands.

-Afterbirth Sandwich     -Anus the Menace     -Menstrual Gravy    -Asshole Parade

-Penis Shit Pile     -Butt Jowl Picnic

There were literally so many bands beginning with the word “anal” that it would require a whole other posting, so we’ll just keep plugging away.

-Big Bird’s Turds     -Fuck Taco Bell    -Half Man, Half Biscuit

-If Pigs Could Talk Would You Still Eat Them    -Orange Juice After Toothpaste

-Poultry in Motion    -Rainbow Butt Monkeys      -Titty Bingo

Well that is about enough of that for now. Today’s blong (blog song) for the bloupies (blog groupies) is very fitting for today’s theme. Here are the Butthole Surfers, with “Pepper”. It’s got that 90’s slacker vibe that we’ve all come to know and love.

Categories: Music Tags: ,
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