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The Restroom Review – Apple Valley South Super Target

New segment – I use public bathrooms and report on their cleanliness, design, and overall “ease of use.”

For a corporation that has proclaimed it strives to be “the best company ever,” Target sure makes its employees and guests wade through a whole lot of pubic hair and liquid waste to access their urinals. This visit started off good – I took note of the ample square footage of the stalls, the art nouveau three-quarter-eggshell urinal design – but as I saddled up to the urination station, I looked down and noticed that I was in a sea of golden waste. I finished up, being careful to find sure footing lest I slip and take a dip in the hairy bog I had become ensnared in. The sinks worked well enough, and I must commend them for not skimping on the blow dryer – my skin rippled from the gale force blast! I did have to spend a considerable amount of time in the parking lot after exiting the store, dragging my feet on the pavement in order to scrape as much of the sludge off my shoes as I could.

Final verdict – If you enjoy other people’s urine, by all means visit Apple Valley South Super Target.

Blong. Cake – Jolene.

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