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Happy Birthday To My Mother

Well, today is the birthday of my Mother. She taught me a great deal about frugality, which is why I’ve been using the same sandwich bag for over five months now, and haven’t flushed my toilet in three. She’s on vacation Brazil at the moment, but this is the conversation we will have when she gets back in a week or so.
Me: I got you flowers on your birthday, but they got old and I had to throw them out.
Mother: You shouldn’t have!
Me: Oh good, ‘cuz I didn’t.
Lesser mothers would be disappointed, maybe even insulted. Mine however, will be happy that I thought about getting her flowers. Then, she will be even more happy when she realizes that I was able to brighten her day without spending any money at all. Happy birthday Mom!

Categories: Humor Tags: , , , ,

Happy Birthday to This Blog

365 dilly-dallying days have dawned and dragged by since this Blog was born to a brisk brooding brumal season, alive, abundant and abounding with alliteration. What a long, strange trip it’s been man. I bet you thought I would have run out of material by now, didn’t you? Yet, I continue to cultivate content from the lugubrious life I live. In fact, here’s a funny story of something that happened just the other day. I was at the mall, and I found this pair of shoes that I really liked, and as an added bonus, they were 40% off the original price! I go over and get the salesman’s attention, and I says to the guy, I says, “Hey, can I try these on? I need a 10 1/2.” When he comes back from the stockroom, he’s all like “We only have those left in a 10 or an 11 1/2.” Then I said, “Oh, okay. Thanks,” and left.

Reality truly is stranger than fiction. I can’t even begin to fathom what sort of outlandish events will occur over the next year of this Blog’s life. Well, I’m gonna go get hammered. Happy birthday, Blog!

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