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The Ventriloquist

A large number of people are familiar with Bruce Wayne’s traumatic childhood and rise to heroic chiropteran vigilance. There exists in the world of DC Comics another, lesser known character who had a similar beginning, yet whose grief manifested itself in a far, far lamer way than the sworn ideal of heavy-handed justice to criminals.

Who: Arnold Wesker, aka The Ventriloquist

Similarities to Bruce Wayne: Arnold Wesker and Bruce Wayne were both born into privilege, AW into the Mafia, BW as the son of a doctor. AW witnessed the assassination of his mother, BW saw both of his parents murdered by a mugger.

This is where the two fork off — Bruce Wayne became Batman. Arnold Wesker, taciturn by nature, vented through the art of ventriloquism. He lets the dummy that he has absolute control over abuse him, both mentally and physically. Wesker has no superpowers, other than being talented at ventriloquism, and even there he is limited. While ventriloquizing, he is unable to pronounce a “B” sound, so the dummy has a speech impediment, and pronounces “Batman” as “Gatman.”

How long until Hollywood scrapes the bottom of the barrel and makes a movie out of this guy?

Beard Man Begins

I look out my window at night. I see a disgusting mosaic of depravity in the streets below. The effluvium of crime threads its way through the community I know and love. Police can’t be trusted. No government agency can. That’s why I send all my mail through the Trystero. Sometimes, an ol’ fashioned vigilante has to put his or her foot down and extinguish all the riff-raff. Beard Man is that vigilante. But do not compare him to Batman. In fact, he is the absolute antithesis of Batman — where Bruce Wayne is a billionaire hiding behind a synthetic mask, Beard Man is poor, and he grew his mask. Here is the first installment of what looks to be a riveting series (it’s easier to read if you click on it):

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