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Predictions For The Outcome Of Harry Potter

February 20, 2014 5 comments

I am now deep into Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, book three of seven in the wildly popular series. I’ve stayed sheltered this long, having avoided the bombardment of hype surrounding the final book nearly seven years ago, as well as the film adaptations. I think I’ve got some of it figured out, though. Here are a few of my predictions for how the story arc will play out.

—Harry and Ron become so fed up with Professor Snape that they get him arrested for being a pedophile. How do they do that? I thought I’d never ask. In a genius ironic twist, the two boys use the knowledge they gain from the Potions class that Snape teaches, to concoct a Love Potion. They sneak it into Snape’s lunch, causing him to become hopelessly in love with those surrounding him, i.e., a bunch of young witches and wizards. Now, the magical lifestyle differs from that of Muggles in many ways, but I assume that pedophilia is frowned upon even in wizardry.

—Or maybe pedophilia is accepted in the wizarding world, which is why everyone hates Voldemort and his womanizing.

—Oh yeah, Harry and Ron get the Love Potion on themselves and start dating.

—A larger portion of the next book will be devoted to the Dursleys, where we find that their treatment of Harry is justified. Think about it: I’m not even finished with the third book, and Harry has already broken enough rules to justify expulsion from Hogwarts several times over, including illegal use of magic in the Dursley home. Rules are rules, Harry. Deal with them like the rest of us.

—Hermione is going to kill herself after graduation, when she comes to the realization that a degree in witchcraft is worthless. Her resume, citing arithmancy and transfiguration as her ‘special skills,’ will be used on job search websites as template of how not to get hired.

—I know Dumbledore dies, but not how. My guess is a coprophilia exploration gone wrong.

I can’t wait to find out how close I am on all these.

Books Read In 2011

Here are the books I read in 2011. Some were good, some were bad, some were a’ight.

Non-Fiction

-Christopher McDougall – Born To Run

-Alan Weisman – The World Without Us

-Haruki Murakami – What I Talk About When I Talk About Running

-Steven Johnson – Everything Bad Is Good For You

-Bill Bryson – A Short History of Nearly Everything

-Juliet Sharman-Burke – The New Complete Book of Tarot

-Stephen Colbert – I Am America (And So Can You!)

Fiction

-China Mieville – The City & The City \ King Rat

-Peter Watts – Blindsight

-Jeff Vandermeer – Finch

– John Grisham – The Firm

-Apostolos Doxiadis & Christos H. Papadimitriou – Logicomix: An Epic Search For Truth

-Various Authors – Twin Cities Noir

-Neil Gaiman – American Gods \ Neverwhere \ The Sandman volumes 1-10 (Preludes & Nocturnes, The Doll’s House, Dream Country, Season of Mists, A Game of You, Fables & Reflections, Brief Lives, World’s End, The Kindly Ones, The Wake)

-Cormac McCarthy – Blood Meridian

-Steve Martin – The Pleasure of My Company

-William S. Burroughs – Naked Lunch \ Cities of the Red Night \ The Place of Dead Roads \ The Western Lands

-C.S. Lewis – The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe

-Richard A. Knaak/Jae-Hwan Kim – Warcraft: Shadows of Ice

-Margaret Atwood – The Blind Assassin

-Mark Twain – The Adventures of Tom Sawyer

-Madeleine L’Engle – A Wrinkle in Time

-Richard Ford – The Sporstwriter

-Garrison Keillor – Lake Wobegon Summer 1956

-Arthur C. Clarke – 2001: A Space Odyssey

-Jack Kerouac – On The Road \ The Dharma Bums

-William Gibson – Pattern Recognition

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