There are wackos, and even a few normal people, on every political site from the far right to the far left and everything in between, Breitbart being no exception. I’ve cruised through a variety of comment sections on that site, and saved the best and brightest (or worst and darkest, depending on your view of reality).
Here, copy-and-pasted (names omitted), are some things that people decided to type and send out into Breitbartia:
REPEAL Odildocare! <——‘Odildocare’ is a play on ‘Obamacare.’ The commenter is likening former president Barack Obama to a dildo, a phallic simulacrum used by men and women the world over in place of a real, live penis. –Editor
Just nuke the entire Middle East and be done with this nonsense! <—–Wouldn’t be able to get oil out of a nuclear wasteland. Oh, and also, innocent people live over there too. –Editor
Saint Bannon, not Trump, is the heart and soul and mind of the Trump Administration. <—-Steve hasn’t been canonized. Yet. –Editor
Just think, if Hillary had campaigned in blackface, she might’ve won. <——Probably not. –Editor
Facebook should be known as Gay Facebook.
(on Scarlett Johansson) She’s not even attractive anymore. She’ll be doing hard core porno in two years with Ashley Judd. <—–Save that one for Gay Facebook. –Editor
Stop ALL immigration!
I would happily go back to Europe if all the Muslims will go back to Mecca and all the blacks will go back to Africa. <—–It’s also possible for you to go back to Europe without anyone else leaving. –Editor
That’s why colleges have become retard dens for men: The EFFECTS of Feminism on MEN. <—–A MAN wrote that comment. –Editor
Trump is reminding me a bit of what was great about Nixon. <——Richard Nixon was the only president to resign from office. –Editor
And of course, the anti-Jewish comments:
Those two NY liberal jew rat bastards are nothing but out to destroy old man Trump.
Well, he’s a Jew….what do you expect?
More and more people are coming to the truth about Jews. After all the Bible says even the disciples spoke in whispers for fear of the Jews.
It was the Jews who were chosen as a foil to show the weakness of humanity.
There is only one race and religion causing the entire worlds problems right now and since it seems the entire history of man and it is NOT Islam but Jews as the entire internet and every book on the planet proves. <—-That’s as good a place as any to wrap this up. –Editor
Here is a legend:
During the Middle Ages, a learned woman named Joan may or may not have risen to the rank of pope by disguising herself as a man. Google Pope Joan if you like.
This brings us to the quote of the year, so far. In The Secrets of the Tarot: Origins, History, and Symbolism, Barbara G. Walker writes:
“Whether Pope Joan was legendary or not, a strange Vatican custom appeared after what the church insisted was not her reign. Candidates for the papacy seated themselves naked on an open stool, like a toilet seat, to be viewed through a hole in the floor by cardinals in a room below. The committee then had to render a formal verdict: Testiculos habet, et bene pendentes—-“He has testicles, and they hang all right.”
The men of the church would rather gaze up at an old guy’s scrotum than mistakenly allow a woman to assume power.
THE LITERARY COMMUNITY—J.K. Rowling recently confessed to plagiarizing a large portion of her Harry Potter series from a manuscript she discovered in Ayn Rand’s tomb, titled The Virtue of Voldemort. The nearly 8,000 page draft, unfinished at the time of Rand’s death in 1982, was to be the story of Tom Riddle, aka Lord Voldemort, a supremely talented individualistic wizard and the ultimate hero of Objectivist philosophy.
J.K. Rowling admitted that she raided Rand’s black marble tomb in search of the manuscript, a mythical book which until now was only rumored to exist, much in the same way Lord Voldemort acquired the Elder Wand from the white marble tomb of the deceased Albus Dumbledore.
According to Rowling, the original text portrayed Lord Voldemort as the protagonist, personifying the ideals of Objectivist philosophy, with Harry Potter cast as a communist degenerate who unselfishly took the lives and feelings of others into consideration during his time at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Previous heroes of Objectivism include Howard Roark, a rapist; Henry Rearden, an adulterer; Ragnar Danneskjöld, a pirate who robbed the poor and gave back to the rich; and a variety of other grown human beings who acted like that one kid you knew growing up who would steal the ball and run off when the game didn’t go his way, ruining the fun for everyone.
After vilifying Voldemort, Rowling took other extensive creative liberties with Rand’s version of events, most notably flipping the main theme of the story around, and making a hero of Harry Potter.
A journal of handwritten notes by Rand, found with the newly discovered tome, highly contradict the spirit of Harry Potter we all know and love and dream about today:
Character sketch of Harry Potter, the half-blooded commie hypocrite asshole, by me, the greatest writer ever, Ayn Rand.
–Potter spends the first ten years of his life living, for free, off of pure generosity from the Dursleys, who owed him NOTHING, yet were kind enough to take him in after his parents dared defy the greatest wizard ever to live, Lord Voldemort. He then expects to be treated as an equal to their son, Dudley.
-Potter yearns to become an Auror, and one day work for the Ministry of Magic, an institution hell-bent on stifling innovators like Lord Voldemort, whose only crime is being unique and perfect and hot and sexy and powerful and I would let him do ANYTHING to me.
-Potter jacks a bank. This would be okay, but instead of stealing from lazy gross poor people who could stand to learn the value of not being lazy and gross and poor, he attempts to seize a goblet from the Lestranges, a wealthy family who were smart enough to be born of pure wizarding blood. Hell no you di’int, Harry.
-Potter shares a large amount of his gold to fund the poverty-stricken Weasley twins’ joke shop. Gold he acquired by winning a contest in which his rival was supposedly ‘murdered’ by Voldemort, conveniently leaving Potter as the victor. Gold that shouldn’t be shared, because no one should share anything with anyone because we all have our own crap to deal with and everyone should be selfish dicks and not help other people because only look out for yourself and no one else and I’m Ayn Rand and powerful men can bone anyone they want because they’re men and they’re powerful and that’s hot and what woman wouldn’t want to be boned by a powerful man and poor people are poor because they just can’t be as good as rich people and they never bothered to learn words like ‘opulent’ and ‘ostentatious’ like I did so I’m better than homeless people I really am because I’m Ayn Rand and everyone could be rich if they wanted but they suck too much at being selfish so only selfish people get to be happy.
The notes go on like this for hundreds of pages, Rowling reported.
Rowling omitted nearly all scenes involving He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, including a disturbing rant that Rand called in her notes ‘the greatest love tableau ever painted,’ which Rowling confirmed was a 75-page God-forsaken hellbroth of pent-up lust between Voldemort and Dolores Umbridge in which quote ‘Tom’s snaky, bone-white body stood quivering before her chubbiness, a chubbiness that suggested a life of indulgence, a life she deservedly took from the mouths of the looters and altruistic.’ (Editor’s note—that’s really how Rand wrote)
Truly disgusting stuff.
Lonely disciples of Rand, who have no friends, have criticized Rowling’s modified tale for reducing Voldemort to an incompetent hack who couldn’t even kill a baby, while normal people generally enjoy the story of Harry Potter.
Author: Frank Gray
Published: 1969, Bantam Books
Here are some things I learned from this book.
-A quote on how the “Distraction Technique” works:
“Tell her, ‘I’d like to treat you to the world’s best food by cooking dinner for us at my place tonight. What would you rather have—spaghetti or lasagna?’ By making her decide which she prefers, you have caused her, automatically, to agree to come to your apartment—which was what you were after in the first place.”
What I learned: When a woman is presented with a choice between spaghetti or lasagna, saying “neither” is in no way an option. Women are incredibly easy to fool, and can be tricked into going on a date with you.
-On how to pick up a woman in an elevator:
“As she gets out, follow her…..If you are courteous, she will be flattered…..Invite her to have a drink with you…..Girls love the idea that a man wants to talk to them. Chances are she will give you her phone number.”
What I learned: Stalking a woman on or near an elevator will not creep her out. I think it also helps if you stand behind her, occasionally leaning in for a sniff, and collecting stray hairs off of her head and clothes. When she inevitably comes back to your place, she will be impressed that you took the time to craft a hair doll in her likeness.
-A section entitled “Probing” offers this:
“If, by chance, when you take her hand, she pulls it away or gives you the feeling that you’re rushing the situation, cool it for awhile; then, of course, start again.”
What I learned: No means yes.
-When you’ve got her at your place:
“If she says, ‘I want children and a white house with a picket fence,’ that’s what you want. If she says, ‘I want to be a swinger and don’t want to get to bed until two and I don’t want kids right away,’ that’s what you want.”
What I learned: Don’t be yourself. Women hate you.