The Restroom Review – Under The Deck At My Friend Ryan’s House in Plymouth

The area under the deck at my friend Ryan’s house, while not a “conventional” restroom, blows the water out of the toilets in Apple Valley and Zimmerman. The battles waged against disgusting hair and arcane inscriptions in those two establishments were nonexistent here.

The deck itself, while in need of minor repairs, did lend a fine platform in which to discuss a diverse array of pressing intellectual issues. That is why this particular restroom area impressed me so. You see, in a traditional setup, the patron of the commode is forced to isolate him or herself for a few minutes from any discussion that may be happening. Nothing is worse than being in a bathroom and hearing a muffled burst of laughter erupt from the group that you had just been a part of. Was an amazing joke just told? Were they laughing at your expense? Did a “you had to be there” moment just occur, and since you weren’t there, you will never truly know the hilarity of the event that you missed? These worries were erased by using the area under Ryan’s deck. I simply walked down a small flight of stairs (minor point deduction – it was dark and there was no light on the steps) and let loose. The platform of the deck was level with my chin, so that I was able to stand next to it, discreetly dispense my urine into the unused area beneath it, and still maintain conversation with my friends above. To them, I was just a head down there off to the side, tossing in occasional hilarious and witty observations, while also relieving bladderal pressure. No one has to see what is going on below, and I can still be a part of the conversation above. Everyone wins. One other minor point deduction – the dog running around. I believe he was aware of the fact that someone was urinating in the area and that he should steer clear, but one can never be 100% sure of these things. After zipping up, I closed my eyes and breathed in the light breeze that was bringing a fresh aquatic influence from the nearby pond.

Final verdict – I would highly recommend using this restroom.

Blong (Blog Song). Some Budos Band action. Good outdoor urinating music.

Wet’n’Wild Wednesday

Oh, hello, thanks for stopping by. Could you hold on for a moment? (Indistinct rustling noises, muffled cursing.) Sorry for the delay. I was trying to find my phone. Oh, there it is. Alright, Hambone, kick it! The sound of my friend Hambone beatboxing.—-> Bum-ba-da-da, bum-ba, bum-ba-da-da, bum-ba. Me.—–>Alright, since it’s Wednesday, we’re going to do some profilin’ and freestylin'(!) Come get a taste.

Sean, Sean
All night long
Up until dawn
Pass out on your lawn
And, uh, what else rhymes with that?
Uh, use his brawn
to abuse a fawn
Infused with, ah crap, filet mignon?

Wiki-wika-what? Boom-pow, how do you like me now. Watch out Ice Cube! That, my friends, is how you rap. Ok, now that we have that out of the way, we can talk about more pressing issues.  Ah crap, yawn rhymes, why didn’t I think of that earlier? Drawn, dangit, there’s another one I missed.  Spawn, could have used that. Shawn. Is it in bad taste to rhyme “Sean” with “Shawn?” I mean, technically they’re two different words. Yongbyon, that’s in North Korea. Alright, this just destroyed my entire train of thought. I’ll be back tomorrow. Or Friday.

Blong (Blog Song) time. The Budos Band.  This is probably the coolest song you will hear today.