The Streets

You get down to street level. Death and destruction are everywhere. The Potato Bomb has reduced the patrons of the Potato Jamboree to a mere human paste, which has turned the street into a slippery, stinky wasteland. Could this in any way tie into the kidnapping of the hot, adulterous wife? Let’s think about this for a moment. A hot, adulterous wife mysteriously disappeared, and a mass-murdering occurred at a celebration of Potatoes. Hmmm, doesn’t really sound like they could be linked together. I guess we’ll just see.

Anyways, as you slip and slide through the human sludge, you notice something near what was once the stage area. You go over there, and pick it up. It is Bieber’s “hair,” which apparently was never hair at all – it turns out to be a synthesized material, impervious to flame; all that is left of the rising star. A piece of paper is tucked into the lining, and the protective cocoon of the “hair” has saved it from ignition. It is a love note from the hot, adulterous wife, written on her personal stationary. Does she know no bounds? On the back of the letter, you notice that two phone numbers have been scribbled down for no reason, other than to advance the plot.

Being a prominent fixture in the community, you know a lot of people and recognize the numbers. They belong to the Demented Dr. Foghorn, and Potato Town’s stereotypical resident villain, Honey Bear. “The plot gelatinizes,” you think to yourself. This is, of course, a take on the popular “the plot thickens” phrase, but you’ve been trying to think of a good catchphrase for awhile now, and that one is just kind of a placeholder until you find “It.”

Do you:

Go to the Demented Dr. Foghorn’s office.

Go to Honey Bear’s hangout.

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