No Shave November Rages On

I’m exhausted. My body aches. I can’t sleep at night. My beard appears to be sucking the life from my body. It’s growing stronger at the expense of my own strength. When I eat a sandwich, it’s really my beard eating a sandwich. The nutrients bypass my malnourished organs and are instead delivered to my facial hair. This beard has turned my own digestive system against me. I’ll be glad when I can get this thing off my face (that’s what she said).

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