Let me help you ease into the weekend with these little known fun facts. Feel free to dispense them at the next cocktail party, weenie roast, or intimate encounter with a loved one.
-Tommy Lee Jones and Al Gore were roommates in college.
-Facebook is a lot more fun if you read people’s status updates out loud in a really stupid voice. Thats what I do.
-Robin Williams and Christopher Reeve were also college roommates!
-Chambs’ slow, labored breathing is really putting me off my game right now. Look at him over there with his beady little eyes, tracing his stupid little drawing. The air isn’t going anywhere, you don’t need to suck it all in at once. Not really fun, but it is a fact.
-If you were to digitize all the information you take in over the course of a day, it is estimated that it would be about 34 Gibabytes. That is a lot.
-Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. That is actually a grammatically correct sentence. Check it out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo
-I’ve been thinking of starting an ant farm this summer.
-Bill Clinton reportedly only ever sent two emails as president, one of which was a test message to see if he was doing it correctly.
Here is a fun little diddy I heard on the Current.
Was listening to the Wilhelm Scream album “Ruiner” today. Makes me want to crank the volume to the max while speeding down the highway screaming in my 20’s gangster voice “YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME COPPAH!!! DADADADADA <— (thats a tommy gun blaring)I ROBBED THAT BANK FAIR AND SQUARE SEE?!!! DADADADADA. But being the law abiding citizen that I am, this is obviously not a viable option. Well the blog is almost two weeks old. What a long strange trip it has been. A celebration will be taking place this Saturday at 5pm. Well it’s actually my Great Aunt Lenore’s 70th birthday party, but I’ll see if I can’t swing the momentum of the gathering in my favor.
-On a side note, wilhelm scream is also the name of a stock audio recording that has been used in hundreds of movies. I thought that might be interesting to all you IPRers? IPRians?IPRites? IPR students out there.
-There was minor dissatisfaction among the the blog groupies, or Bloupies as I call them (I think that might actually be stolen from Arrested Development), last week on two issues. Dan was really hoping to hear the secrets of my workout regimen. As I stated, there is just too much to cover, but I can reveal that it involves a large amount of screaming, sweating, vomiting (not the bulimic kind), and even a little crying. So Dan, if you aren’t getting those results, you are doing it wrong.
-The Bloupies also demanded to know what I keep in my car. Well, nothing much. My Transformers water bottle, gym shoes of course, some CDs, and my beloved St. John’s Bay golfing jacket. I also noticed today that a copy of “Cat’s Cradle” by Kurt Vonnegut was laying on the seat.
-Those of you pulled in by the alluring expose’ on the Pawlenty administration, I must apologize. My research on the readership of the blog has shown that the Bloupies enjoy watching rich people be naughty, and the Governor of the state of Minnesota was simply a scapegoat. I’m sure he is a very nice person. Plus I think my Dad met him one time.
Well, the fridge door is shut, the eggs are coolin’, and the jello is a-jigglin’. Thanks for reading.
We all remember the heydays of the 90’s, when you were walking down the street, minding your own business, when suddenly the intoxicating croons of a toothless vagrant infiltrated your ears. Once considered a mongrel society that lurked on the fringes of contemporary culture, these crusty transients pried their way into our hearts and coin purses with anything from their barely intelligible renditions of classic rock songs, to borderline inappropriate drunken cat calls.
Now no one seems to carry actual money on them anymore. With the advent of the check card, these fine men and women are at risk of vanishing from the face of our city streets. That’s right, no weird guy named Freddy “Four Toes” Johnson imploring you to toss a nickel into his lice-ridden hat while he blows on a trio of beer bottles filled with varying amounts of urine. As it becomes more apparent that this check card fad isn’t going to blow over anytime soon, the looming discontinuation of the American penny is also a source of distress for these musty hooligans.
So what can we do to help these delightful derelicts? Well I myself am not going to go out of my way to do anything, but you can if you want. Quite frankly I figured the bitter cold of winter would kill them off.
“The Weekly Watering”-new segment
In this new feature, I will plant the seeds of topics that I plan to cover in the upcoming week, only to return the next week to “water” them.
-My friend Sam received a poor performance review at his job for using “intimidation” in the workplace. I plan on finding out how to use these same tactics in my everyday life.
-Although last Halloween’s “Douchebag” costume was a huge success, it was determined this weekend that I will be dressing up as a “Naughty Constable” for this year’s celebration. October can’t come quick enough.
Well I am off to attend the IPR faculty concert at the Fine Line.
Zip it up and zip it out.
Seriously. It’s not. I looked into the operation of the Good Year blimp. So I cut my hair last night for the first time since September of 2009. Think about that. September of 2009. What crazy days those were. Conan O’Brien was still on the air, Rone-Bone’s (my nephew. see older post.) “Chicken Wing” dance was all the rage at my sister’s house, and I still had a shred of dignity left. How the times have changed. But I have officially shed my winter coat, and am gearing up for what looks to be a promising beach season. I also shaved, so my face now looks like a baby’s bottom. Or it’s smoother than a baby’s bottom. Whatev.
-On an unrelated note, I now have a bag of human hair that I need to get rid of. Perhaps if you are bald, going bald, or have a garden you could use it. I hear that spreading hair around the crops helps keep the local rodentry out.
-Listened to the Crosby Stills stuff this morning. Early indication is that I like it. (What’s up J-Char?)Air was also met with a warm reception. French electronica. Or as some people would say “Freedom” electronica.
-Don’t really feel like breaking down the work out routine. It is literally so grueling and multifarious that to put it into words would require a blog unto itself.
-Oh yeah, that book. 52 McGs, by the late, great, Robert McG. Thomas Jr.(1939-2000), of the New York Times. Obituaries of lesser known famous people. Tantalizing to say the least. My favorite possibly being Lewis J. Gorin Jr. He started the satirical organization “Veterans of Future Wars” in 1936. All they wanted was their bonus money before they went to war, so that they could enjoy it, while they still had their youthful, unblemished health. In other words, while they were Young, Clean, and Legit. HAYOOOOOOO!!! Oh yeah if anyone hasn’t gotten the joke yet, YCL is the opposite of Ol’ Dirty Bastard. Just an FYI. It ended up having tens of thousands of members at over 500 chapters throughout the country. And this was pre-Facebook groups. Let’s see “I don’t care how comfortable your crocs are you look like a dumbass” get that many members without the internet.
But enough of my mindless drivel. Here is the “Blong” (blog song) of the day. I wasn’t even aware the Gorillaz had a new album coming out. LooByrd and I had quite a productive lunch hour jamming out to this. But if you like those crazy German bastards known as Kraftwerk, then this is right up your alley.
Stylo, by the Gorillaz.
Ich liebe dich,
Short blog for this evening, but it is action packed. Tomorrow we will be covering some very riveting topics. They include:
-I will be doing a virtual walk-through of my workout regimen. Spoiler alert-no crunches required!
-We’re going to see if we can’t get famed New York Times writer Robert McG. Thomas Jr. in here for an interview.
-I might go through a list of things that are in my car.
-I have just been informed that Robert McG. Thomas Jr. passed away more than ten years ago. But we can still discuss a book of his compiled works entitled “52 McG’s”. It’s a bunch of obituaries that he wrote, but it is actually not depressing at all. It is quite fascinating.
-Speculation will continue over the soap controversy. I am 5 1/2 bars into a six bar contract with Irish Spring. Who will gain my patronage this weekend when I go shopping?
-Other possible topics-checked out four CDs from Tina the Librarian today. Crosby Stills Nash & Young, Air, Daft Punk, and Elliot Smith. We can always talk about those, but we don’t have to.
-I’m supposed to watch Pan’s Labyrinth tonight. I can’t really sit through movies anymore so I probably won’t.
Thank you for reading.
Hello, your favorite bloggist has returned. You probably didn’t notice the lack of updates over the weekend. Well one person did. But that doesn’t really count. This material doesn’t write itself you know. Gotta crack eggs to make an omelet. And the more eggs cracked, the more delicious this proverbial omelet becomes. For myself I tend to prefer a two to three egg omelet. And for some reason I always feel sick after eating eggs, yet I continue to do it. That my friends is dedication. So yeah, that is why there were no updates. But hey, I’m giving the people what they want, which is less of this blog. To recap what has happened since I haven’t blogged, I will now run down a list of what I did since Thursday or Friday whenever the last one was.
-Saturday afternoon- strummed C-G-Am-F in reggae fashion for about 20 minutes
-Saturday 5pm-8pm- recorded Freemont, Nebraska’s top selling hip-hop artist over in Studio 3. 43 units moved over Thanksgiving weekend. This guy has rhymes so raw they should be cooked first. Preferably to an internal temperature of 165 degrees F. You can just check that with a meat thermometer, or stick a fork in it until it comes out clean. Let stand for 5 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper.
– Saturday night-Sunday morning- Went to B-Rad’s party. Hilarity ensued.
-Sunday- Watched the O’s for a little bit. And some movies. Drifted in and out of consciousness.
-Sunday evening- My brother in law, B-Hen, father of nephews Rone-Bone and Baby G, cooked chicken wild rice soup for the family. Distinct notes of parsley were detected.
-Monday- Math was briefly discussed with my associate Slim. Or Slimminy Cricket as I like to call him.
-Tuesday- While searching Craigslist with Chambs (pronounced chames i think. he’s british or something) an ad was uncovered that was looking for a “little person” to play an oompah loompah at someone’s Willie Wonka party. That pretty much makes fun of itself.
Tuesday evening- Typing this sentence as we speak. Maybe the next blog will be better. I just say that to keep people coming back. But they never do.
Didn’t really plan a Blog Song of the day, or “Blong” as the entertainment desk here at YCL Headquarters refers to it. I heard “Ain’t No Grave” by Johnny Cash on the Current this morning and it was good. Go listen to that.
Until tomorrow or the next day or the next day after that,(not the official sign off, still TBD)
La di da doo da, bop ba da la la la cha cha- Oh hey! I didn’t see you come in. I was just singing a little ditty there. Well here we are, the second post. And people told me I would never last. In your face Mom! Well anyways, I’m still fleshing things out around here, working on the layout and such, cause hey, I’m still a bloglodyte. (play on troglodyte. a caveman. but explaining that just made that joke((if you can call it that)) even lamer). But what has two thumbs and can successfully use parentheses within parentheses? This guy. (I’m pointing at myself with my thumbs right now). Man this post is sinking fast. So did you hear about the guy that bought an iguana, but when he brought it home, it just layed around all day and didn’t want to eat? So he took it to the vet and they told him that he had a bad case of reptile disfunction. I think I just saw some tumbleweed blow by my desk. So as you may or may not have figured out yet, I haven’t actually prepared anything for this post.
I suppose I could talk about music. So last night I’m sitting here listening to DJ Shadow-Preemptive strike. Good stuff. Especially if you’re a 17 year old sitting in your parents basement playing Sega and getting chonged(if that is a word). I know what you kids are up to. But yeah, just some beats to listen to and let the day melt away. 6 of the 11 songs are 5+ minutes long so you can just pop it into the cassette player and go about your business.
What else to talk about. Oh yeah, here’s a pretty nice video from back in 1994. Remember 1994? I know I do. hanging out in elementary, failing my multiplication tables, dominating on the kickball field, and trying to trade the fruit that my Mom packed in my lunch for something that was actually good. The group is called Digable Planets.
They don’t make hip hop like this anymore.
Still no catchy sign off.