Home > Top Ten > Top Ten Things That, Uh, Well I Guess This is Just A List of Ten Unrelated Things

Top Ten Things That, Uh, Well I Guess This is Just A List of Ten Unrelated Things

Question – What do Britney Spears’ house and the dumpster behind a marshmallow factory have in common?

Answer – They’re both full of white trash!

If you know where I stole that joke from, I would like to be your friend.

Well, here it is, another Top Ten list. But in reality, it’s really just ten random things that I’m throwin’ out there to fill some Blog space.

10. I’ve been thinking of abandoning the YoungCleanLegit moniker. It’s probably time to rip off somebody that’s more popular, like Lady Gaga. What are everyone’s thoughts on changing the name of this Blog to Sir Goo Goo? Or maybe even Mr. Goo Goo. They both have a ring to them.

9. I have in front of me a never-published Blog post where I interview myself. Intellectually stimulating? Of course. A good read for anyone but me? Not so much.

8. I recently had a dream where I was in an old Victorian house with some friends, and there were Mushroom-People with octopus-like tentacles chasing after everyone. And their tentacles had the ability to fractally (if that is a word) split into more tentacles. Everyone in the house was caught and destroyed but me. I escaped and hid on the roof. I’m still trying to figure out the meaning of that one.

7. The next night I dreamt that I was sitting at a table eating macaroni and cheese. That was literally the entire dream. But then the next day I actually ate macaroni and cheese, so I guess my dreams are finally starting to come true.

6. What? There was an American president named Chester Arthur? How have I never heard of him?

5. Have pagers been out of style long enough for it to be funny for me to wear one in an ironic kind of way?

4. Here’s something interesting – Not once, but twice this year, I have bought a group (or is it a “cluster?” or “bunch?”) of bananas from Aldi, only to have them never ripen. Is that weird? The first time it happened, about two months ago, I had them for three weeks, and they stayed green! I even tried eating one, and it tasted just like it looked – an unripened banana. I then threw them away due to fear. Currently, I have another batch that is doing the same thing, going on two and a half weeks, and still green. Is that supposed to happen? Something isn’t right here.

3. Speaking of Aldi, I’m pretty sure the deodorant I bought there is causing some kind of irritation in my armpits. Oh sure, I could sue them, but I don’t have the technology to prove it, and I’m pretty sure they don’t have any money, so what’s the point?

2. Here’s another classic joke – Q. What’s the sexiest farm animal?

A. Brown chicken brown cow!

1. Well, it’s about time for me to be hittin’ the ol’ dusty trail. Tomorrow will probably be the last post of the year.

Blong. Australian Jazz! Just give it listen.

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